Power Rankings: Hard-charging Twins
With more than three weeks left, one race remains in the American League (AL East) and it will decide only postseason seeding.
On the other hand, there are four in nfl jersey
the National League – West, East, wild card and the Los Angeles Dodgers ownership.
Week 23 (Records through Thursday):
New York 1. New York Yankees (87-53; Previous: 1) – Girardi refuses to deny interest in Cubs job. Torre wishes he’d thought of that.
Minnesota 2. Minnesota Twins (83-57; Previous: 7) – Gardenhire fumes over White Sox highlights on Target Field scoreboard, except for the 3-D part. That was pretty cool.
Tampa Bay 3. Tampa Bay Rays (84-55; Previous: 2) – Maddon uses record-tying six pinch-hitters in same inning, breaks record by having bench coach Dave Martinez handle postgame manager’s press conference.
Philadelphia 4. Philadelphia Phillies (81-60; Previous: 9) – Philadelphians vote Howard greatest September menace. Beats out Hurricane Earl by seven votes, Donovan McNabb by four.
Atlanta 5. Atlanta Braves (80-61; Previous: 5) – Cox goes to Florida and gets nothing from Marlins. But, on bright side, always wanted to know what it felt like to work for Loria.
San Diego 6. San Diego Padres (79-60; Previous: 3) – Bell sacrifices bucket of KFC to end 10-game losing streak, a method known in mysticism circles as The Picnic Exorcism.
Boston 7. Boston Red Sox (78-62; Previous: 4) – Manny reveals his regrets for how he left Boston: Went long way around instead of just taking Ted Williams Tunnel. Traffic was awful.
Cincinnati 8. Cincinnati Reds (79-61; Previous: 8) – Chapman pitch clocked at 104. We assume the last thing that went that fast in Cincinnati had a Bengal behind the wheel and contraband in the ashtray.
San Francisco 9. San Francisco Giants (79-62; Previous: 10) – Giants, last in league in steals, found to have less team speed than 14 second graders on way to music class.
Texas 10. Texas Rangers (77-63; Previous: 6) – Rangers lose game because of third-base coach’s interference. Umpire rules incidental contact was fine, but lasso a bit much.
Chicago 11. Chicago White Sox (77-63; Previous: 12) – Ozzie ponders running for mayor. First act: South Side amnesty for Cubs fans.
Colorado 12. Colorado Rockies (76-64; Previous: 14) – CarGo, his MVP candidacy harmed by Coors Field effect, vows to move out of humidifier by weekend.
St. Louis 13. St. Louis Cardinals (73-65; Previous: 11) – Kyle Lohse(notes) keeps pitching like this, Cards threaten to remove “H” from back of jersey.
Toronto 14. Toronto Blue Jays (72-68; Previous: 13) – Letter falls from SkyDome and strikes fan, who awakens and tells of crazy dream he had about Jose Bautista(notes) leading the majors in home runs.
Florida 15. Florida Marlins (70-69; Previous: 15) – Marlins rookie relievers required to wear feathery wings and halos in hazing ritual. Weird, in Anaheim, all rookies required to wear Marlins reliever outfits.
Oakland 16. Oakland Athletics (69-70; Previous: 16) – A’s are 31-14 in Indianapolis Colts jersey
day games, 40-27 at home, and 1-1 in baseball weather.
Detroit 17. Detroit Tigers (71-70; Previous: 20) – Jim Joyce to be plate umpire for Galarraga start Friday night in Detroit. Game to begin with one out in top of first.
Houston 18. Houston Astros (67-73; Previous: 22) – Astros haven’t had a losing month since May, sweep Phillies and Cardinals over 10 days, and rise to third in NL Central. On the other hand, Carlos Lee(notes) still in left field.
Los Angeles 19. Los Angeles Dodgers (69-72; Previous: 17) – Frank McCourt attorney has his client ahead, 8-2. Now Frank wishes he’d spent more on bullpen.
New York 20. New York Mets (69-71; Previous: 19) – Castillo skips team trip to veterans hospital because, he said, he’s saddened to see people with, “No legs, no arms.” Fortunately for a guy who plays for Mets, “no hearts” hardly bothers him at all.
Los Angeles 21. Los Angeles Angels (67-73; Previous: 18) – Angels rookies hazed by having to go out into public wearing Angels uniforms.
Milwaukee 22. Milwaukee Brewers (65-74; Previous: 21) – Two Brewers, a Cardinal and a fan ejected in same game at Miller Park. All four required to repent at foot of Bud Selig statue.
Washington 23. Washington Nationals (60-80; Previous: 23) – Marquis beats Pirates’ Morton in battle of one-game winners. It’s the sort of riveting baseball that’s keeping baseball alive in Pittsburgh.
Chicago 24. Chicago Cubs (60-80; Previous: 25) – Following unveiling of Billy Williams monument, Cubs management says more statues to come. Fans assume this means team considering offseason signing of left fielder Manny Ramirez(notes).
Kansas City 25. Kansas City Royals (57-82; Previous: 24) – Royals 10-7 in extra-inning games, feel like lone flaw is being terrible in nine-inning games.
Cleveland 26. Cleveland Indians (57-83; Previous: 26) – Indians youngsters refer to Hafner as “Grandpa Pronk” – part project, part gerontology.
Arizona 27. Arizona Diamondbacks (57-83; Previous: 27) – D’backs consider humidor, where they’ll store baseballs, cigars and Mike Hampton(notes).
Baltimore 28. Baltimore Orioles (53-87; Previous: 29) – Town abuzz over Showalter Effect. Also pretty pumped about Lady Gaga concert at Verizon Center. Totally different ways, of course.
Seattle 29. Seattle Mariners (55-85; Previous: 28) – Offense so Minnesota Vikings jersey
bad Louisville Slugger has asked for their bats back.
Pittsburgh 30. Pittsburgh Pirates (47-92; Previous: 30) – Pirates’ run of losing seasons turns 18, becomes a man. An ugly, lazy, shifty, good-for-nothing man. But, a man nonetheless.